I was thinking it was time for a new cat around the house, so I went to the kitty copier and ran Franklin through.  Unfortunately, it was low on toner, so I ended up with a gray copy.  Not bad, all things considered.

Seriously, though, Pin comes to me from my friend Amanda, who is going through a rough time right now and needed to rehome her cat.  She’s had him for about 2 years; best we can figure, he’s about 4.  He’s been around here for a little over a week and is gradually adjusting to life in a new home and with a new cat and new staff.  He’s lived with other cats before, so it’s just a matter of getting used to this one.  He hides a lot, but day by day he’s spending more time around me.

He’s a hair smaller than Franklin (Amanda says about 13 pounds on his last vet visit) and his coat is a bit fluffier than Franklin’s.  He’s also significantly more vocal, though he doesn’t have a typical “meow” either.  Amanda says he’s quite healthy, and I’ll get him to the vet in a couple months when Franklin’s due for a checkup so I can have them on the same schedule.  I do want to give him a bit more adjustment time before I traumatize him with a car trip to the vet, and since I know his history, there’s no great urgency.

Franklin’s not so sure what to do about him.  At first he was curious, then they did a lot of posturing but no overt threats, then a bit of tussling.  But mostly they just kind of stay away from each other.  Tonight, though, I did hear a bit of a scrum.  Boys will be boys, I guess.

Apologies for the photo quality above – I’ve not had too many chances to catch them together, and the camera on my phone is apparently dying, so the quality is often crap.

Yet I find myself often enough in that funky headspace, where I withdraw into myself and my head, when I should probably reach out.  Where I am overly annoyed by things that I should be able to laugh off (or at least find my “zen place” about). I get overly cranky about little indignities like one that happened last week at the pharmacy – being smacked in the face with the door because I reached for the handle while the person walking right next to me decided it was a good idea to hit the automatic door opener button at the same time, even though he could see me reaching for said door. I mean, yeah, that’s annoying, but it shouldn’t have put me into a crankypants mood.

Some of it’s physical, but I’m probably winding up in a little of a physical/mental spiral as I’m letting my mental fatigue contribute to physical fatigue.  Working with my doc on my thyroid levels (which are out of whack again), but that’ll take time, and I have no choice to be patient there.

And after four plus months of dealing with plantar fasciitis, I finally stepped it up a notch and got a referral to podiatry.  Honestly I’d put it off because I expected to just get the conservative advice I already knew (rest, ice, wear good shoes, stretch, etc.).  But that wasn’t helping.  The podiatrist gave me a cortisone shot and has recommended really taking it easy the next few weeks (no, I’m not even supposed to walk the mile to work), and wearing a night splint. It’s still early (the shot was on Tuesday, and I got the night splint on Thursday), but I think we may be seeing some progress.  I’ve definitely noticed a difference the two nights with the splint – it’s not nearly as annoying as I feared, and that first step after waking isn’t painful (which it was, more often than not, on days I didn’t wear the splint).

So we’ll see.  I’m hopeful that will finally start to fade and I can get back into regular exercise.  And I know that exercise does so much for my energy level and mood.  Of course, with this much time off and my thyroid being wonky, I’m up a few pounds, and feeling very unfit, so it’ll take some major “sucking it up” to go back to my classes and struggle through (even more so than I did before – I was always far from the fittest person in class, but I’m sure I’ll be even farther behind if /when I go back).  Baby steps – I’ll have to work my way back up once this period of limited activity is over and (hopefully) the heel is feeling better.  I’m also out of the routine, so it’ll take a few days or weeks of being totally miserable to get myself back to appreciating exercise again.

Of course, a decent portion of my wardrobe doesn’t fit right now, either, or is just a little too tight, which doesn’t help with the whole “feeling good about myself” situation.  Despite all my best efforts to focus on my health, I do (still, too often) focus on my appearance as well.  When both of them are feeling compromised, well, we have where I am today.

I also haven’t been to the dropzone in a few months – I just can’t motivate to go.  It’s not been because of weather.  It’s mostly been because of energy – my energy to go there just isn’t there, and my energy to focus and pull together the mental and physical energy to make a skydive just isn’t there. And so it’s the right decision not to go, of course, because being in the wrong headspace can have tragic consequences in a sport like skydiving.

I must continue to remind myself that, in the grand scheme of things, these are minor problems, at best, and ones that will pass.  My hyper-sensitivity to the world and its (perceived) slights will pass, too.  Slowly, but surely, I can work to recover that emotional equilibrium that I crave, that feeling that it takes a lot to rattle me, that feeling that I can take the mantra “don’t sweat the small stuff … and it’s all small stuff” to heart and to live it, day in, day out.

Today, though, the small stuff feels like big stuff, and I need to be okay with that.  Just writing about it is cathartic, because there’s nothing worse than carrying around a head and heart full of “small stuff” and having it turn it into a ball of bigger stuff.

And then you add in the fact that I’ve been at my new job for three weeks now and that’s been taking a whole different kind of mental energy, and I just haven’t made blogging a priority.  But here I am!

So… new job.  So far, all is going well.  Of course, it’s still new, but I think I’ve been around enough to realize that 1) It’s not going to be perfect sunshine and roses every day (but hell, I knew that going in, and at 41 I’m hardly naive enough to think I can find that at any job) and 2) I made an excellent choice.  Once I made the decision that it was time for a change from my old job, I wanted to make sure that I ran “to” something, not “from” something.  I’ve interviewed for other gigs within my current employer before, and none felt right.  Some were just quick conversations to realize “Nope, this doesn’t sound like the right fit,” a couple were extended interview processes where the only thing I could really get excited about was the fact that it was different.  But I couldn’t get excited about the opportunity, or the people.

Now, I can.  I’m working with a solid group of folks who, though they may not always work perfectly together, seem smart and self-aware enough to always work on improving that dynamic.  That’s a good thing – so much dysfunction I see is from groups that don’t even acknowledge their own dysfunction.  The role itself is a challenge and stretch for me, and will be a good growth opportunity.  I need one of those.  While my old job was challenging, I was really just doing the same type of stuff I’d been doing for years.  It’s nice to be in a position to have to learn a lot of new things and exercise long-dormant parts of my brain.

Another thing that’s been mentally draining is that when I jumped into this role, I’d basically been doing two things in the previous two months: jury duty & vacation.  Jury duty was indeed a challenge, but in a very different way from my everyday life.   Vacation was a challenge mostly on the travel days (long travel days always are, even when everything goes pretty much right, as this trip did), and on the sick days (food poisoning, UGH!).  I came back from vacation and had three days of basically busy work wrapping up the old job, and then it was headfirst into the new role.

I’ve been tired, too, partially because I haven’t been taking the best care of the physical me, which has an impact on my mental and emotional energy.  Working on getting off that roller coaster and nourishing my body so that it is at its best state of health.  Looking forward to doing more of that tonight with the lamb shanks that are braising in the oven right now for a fabulous Easter dinner.  A secular Easter, to be sure, but a feast nonetheless!

At any rate, it’s finally over, and I’m hopeful I can go back to thinking about other things and sleeping well.  I also need to get back to some healthier habits – eating like crap (food brought into the jury room, constant treats, etc., and I was not at all disciplined) has my system all kinds of wonky.  Add to that the fact that I haven’t been able to exercise much at all due to a nasty, nasty lingering bout of plantar fasciitis, and I’m just a picture of poor well-being right now.

Thursday bright and early we leave for Nicaragua.  Of course, I’m excited about the trip, but I do wish I were feeling better generally, as I always enjoy these things more when I feel like my health is more optimal.  It’s up to me to turn the tide on that by starting to eat better, and there’s nothing to say I can’t start that on the trip, I just need to decide it’s important to me to do it.  The chasm between “what I know I want and need to do” and “what I’m actually doing” has never seemed wider to me, but I’ve bridged it before and I’ll bridge it this time as well.

First, there’s the continuing juggle of jury duty and my current job.  That continues to be a challenge, though it hasn’t been as bad as I might have expected and being unavailable for much of the day frankly shields me from a lot of the bullshit.  But it still means I spend time early in the morning and late afternoon on my laptop, as well as throughout the day on my BlackBerry, responding to messages.  And there is some down time – like the last two afternoons, where I don’t  have to be at the trial.

Did you notice my use of the word “current” in the previous paragraph?  That of course implies there’s a “future” job, and there is.  I’ve accepted a new position – same employer, different department.  Or, as I say in my more cynical moments “same circus, different tent.”  Cynicism aside, I’m very excited for it and looking forward to a new challenge and a new team.

But February (and part of March) stands between me and the new job.  With jury duty likely going well into February, and my vacation to Nicaragua running from March 1-13, it doesn’t make sense to start any sooner than that, and since HR likes to switch people over at the beginning of a pay period, it means my start date will be March 19.  So, a few days to wrap up when I get back from Central America, and I’m off to the races with the new gig.

The new gig will be back in downtown Oakland, which means I may spend more time in the office than telecommuting, though I suppose it’ll depend on what’s going on in the office. Much of the new team is scattered throughout different offices, so we’ll have to see how much in-office time is absolutely needed.  Still, as I start to get to know folks and my new role, it’ll make sense to be around in person.

I will get a chance to meet more of my new colleagues next week as I sneak off to Disneyland for the two-day offsite staff meeting.  Through an amazing stroke of good fortune, the two days I have off from jury duty next week coincide with those dates.  Even though I can’t start for another month, it’ll be nice to begin the orientation process.

So, yes, I was selected.  The trial is a long one, partly due to the fact that it is a complex, serious criminal case, and partly due to the fact that (unlike in television and the movies) the criminal justice system in the real world moves at what sometimes seems a glacially slow pace.

To wit – the jury selection process.  Panel C (yes, there were panels A, and B as well) arrived on a Thursday morning at 8:30.  At around 10:00 we were called into the courtroom where the basics of the case were announced, and we were asked if we had any hardship exemptions (fitting into a narrow set of categories).  Those who did were allowed to hang out and plead their case, those who did not (or whose exemptions were not granted) were sent back to the main jury assembly room to fill out a 20+ page questionnaire.

We all returned on Monday afternoon, at which point a few more folks were dismissed based on information in their questionnaires.  Sum total of time spent was about 45 minutes.  We were asked to return the following morning.

The next day, what was left of panels A, B, and C (about 100 people) then entered the formal voir dire process.  Twelve people were called to the jury box, and the judge began the process of questioning each person, one by one.  If something in the responses indicated a bias, the person was dismissed, and a new person was called, and that person was then questioned.  This went on until the judge had 12 people in the jury box who he felt were not biased.  I was the last of the people to be seated in this way.

At this point, the attorneys had a chance to ask questions of the jurors.  Each of them went through a list of questions, then they were given a chance to dismiss for cause, or to make peremptory challenges.  Several jurors were eliminated through this process, as each was dismissed, a new person was brought up, and the questioning process (first from the judge, then by the attorneys) started again for each new person, until finally there were twelve jurors and no requests to dismiss.

Then we repeated the same process to get the alternate jurors.  The entire voir dire/selection process took two full days. Since they’d allotted another day to select the jury, and Fridays are often off (judge attends to other business), and Monday was a holiday, we returned the following Tuesday to start the actual trial.

This was last week.  The schedule only had us in court on Tuesday and Wednesday, with Thursday and Friday as planned off days, but since the judge was sick on Wednesday, we all showed up… and were sent right back home.

Starting tomorrow, we’re supposed to have five straight days.  Of course, even “full days” aren’t that full.  We arrive at 9:30, are dismissed for lunch from 12:00-1:30, and are dismissed at 4:30.  There’s at least one break (of about 15 minutes) in the morning and in the afternoon, though often there are more breaks.  Each break, the jury has to file in and out, and retreat to the jury deliberation room.  Often, the breaks go over by a few minutes, so overall, the actual time in the courtroom is less.

I’m not sure I’d wish the days to be longer – time in the courtroom is exhausting.  Having to stay as mentally focused as we do and listen to complex arguments and testimony is exhausting, but at the same time, part of me wishes that the days could be somehow made more efficient so that we had to show up for fewer of them.

Meanwhile, I’m doing my best to keep up with my job in the early mornings, and via BlackBerry during the day. I could also bring my laptop (there’s wifi available) but so far I’ve been able to keep up with what I need to by emailing on the BlackBerry and joining a few calls here and there.  It’s one less thing for me to schlep back and forth each day, too!

The weather’s been (mostly) great, so it’s been nice to leave the courthouse at lunch and go out to the picnic tables out back, or to sit on a bench or in the grass closer to Lake Merritt.  This week’s weather will be a bit more iffy, but hopefully I can get out and get some fresh air anyway.  Plus, it’s close enough to walk (about a 30 minute walk), so I’ll get the morning and afternoon time outside.

The jury room is cozy for the 16 of us, but comfortable enough, with private bathrooms for the jurors (much better than being out in the public areas, where the bathrooms are woefully small for the number of people using them), plus a water cooler, fridge, microwave, and coffee maker.  At least that makes it easier to bring a lunch!

Fortunately, I’ve offset that by excellent eating of late, though I think I’m a little tired as my body adjusts back to a steady supply of meat & veggies without all the other crap.  Hopefully I’m settling into that now.

I’m also settling into the routine of jury duty, which means I try to do my job early in the morning and late afternoon at home, and on the Blackberry during jury breaks.  After three days (two partial, one full) we’re still in the jury selection process.  As of now I’m on the jury, BUT (big but) the attorneys haven’t even taken their first shot at eliminating people.  Based on what I know about the case so far, I suspect the DA would love to have me, and the defense attorney won’t love me.  So we’ll see if I’m right and the defense attorney tells me to go bye-bye.  If he doesn’t … well, the next six to eight weeks of my life just got much more complicated.  It’s supposed to go till mid to late February, and the judge has assured me that I will be able to go to Nicaragua on March 1, even if I’m selected.  So we’ll see how this week plays out.

It was a slowish year skydiving for me, which was okay.  It was an up-and-down year health & fitness wise (and yeah, I’m focused on that right now because a couple small but nagging injuries have had me pretty inactive for the last three weeks). Professionally it was more of the same, though I did get a promotion, other than the salary bump and the change in title, nothing much changed in my day-to-day life.  Working on possibly changing that in 2012; stay tuned.

Oddly, for someone who has generally tried to consume less and buy less (do I really need X, Y, or Z?), 2011 may be remembered for three purchases: 1) The RV, 2) my freezer (and its contents – a 1/4 cow and 1/2 hog) and 3) my food processor.  The former made our year’s big boogie experiences more pleasant, and the latter two have made it so much easier to make good choices food-wise (not that I always have, mind you, but they do make it easier!).  In fact, I just made up my first batch of sauerkraut using the food processor.  We’ll see how it turns out – I put in cabbage, carrots, onion, and fennel (all from my CSA box this week).  Yum!

Overall, though, 2011 was a good one, and I’m looking forward to lots of positive things in 2012.

I got in 14 jumps at the boogie, two each the first two days, and five each on the second two days.  The first day it took me a while to get motivated, and the second day I would have jumped more but winds picked up pretty early in the day and I much preferred sitting on the ground and watching others fight the winds.  Still, other than the one windy afternoon, and chilly mornings, we couldn’t have asked for better weather (and the weather looks great for the rest of the week as the boogie finishes out).

Just as we did two years ago, we found that we really enjoyed the quieter pace of the early part of the boogie, before the dropzone fills up with the post-Christmas crowds.  The first two days, I don’t think there was ever more than one plane flying; by day three there were two planes for some of the day, and by our final day, there were three planes turning loads all day.  It’ll probably be like that or even busier the rest of the week, since not only is the boogie going on, but the USPA Collegiate championships are going on as well.

With those 14 jumps (assuming no jumping on Saturday, that is), I end the year with 853 jumps total.  At only 66 jumps this year, it was one of my slowest in quite a while, but considering I didn’t get back in the air till April after my injury, I guess it’s not so bad.  After 2010′s 191 jumps, maybe I needed a slow year.  Hoping to pick up the pace again next year.

So far next year, we’ve only got one big trip planned – the Boogie in Nicaragua, but it promises to be a great one.  In considering our travel insurance options, it’s only a slight difference in price to buy insurance for one trip vs. the entire year, so we’re buying for a full year.  Maybe it’ll motivate us to do some more cool international travel before the 12 months are up!  Of course, like all insurance, we hope not to have to use it at all, but it’s good for peace of mind.  In fact, at the boogie this past week, I caught up with my friend who had hurt himself in Lodi a couple years ago.  He filled us in on his recovery – it took a  five months before he was fully recovered, and he wound up having to have surgery in San Francisco before going home to Norway.  His private insurance covered everything, including a special medical flight home.  We’re purchasing similarly generous insurance (which has no exclusions for skydiving, of course!).  It’ll be nice to not have to worry about that part if we do have to deal with an injury abroad.