Going on six months into this latest health and fitness kick, I am starting to feel like I might be making some changes I can live with. Mostly because I see myself making good choices day in and day out, and I’m not “hanging on the edge” or feeling like I’m deprived, stressed about food, or overwhelmed by exercise.
Exercise is just something I do every day now. Weekdays are easy enough – I’m getting up to work out with Noah three mornings a week anyway, so I just keep my alarm permanently set at 6 and I get up and either go to see Noah or go to the gym. Weekends can be a little more challenging since my gym opens later and I do wind up skydiving on a lot of weekend days. But that’s when I substitute a walk/intervals around the lake instead of the gym, or come up with some other way to get exercise in (like tomorrow, we’re hiking!). And by being consistent throughout the five workdays, I don’t feel like I’m slacking if I only manage to get a workout in one of the two days of the weekend.
Food is the more interesting thing. Today I bought a bunch of fruit, and I’m thrilled to have the kitchen stocked with so many options (with today’s bounty, I currently have cherries, strawberries, mangoes, dates, bananas, and apples). On Wednesday I went to Costco and since I’d had a light dinner I decided to treat myself to a frozen yogurt sundae. What a mistake! First of all it (like everything at Costco) was huge. And I think because I’ve been eating so much whole food and naturally sweet things like fruit, I found the sweetness cloying and the creaminess overwhelming. I gave up after half of it, and drove the rest of the way home with it just sitting there. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a good dessert, but I think my taste buds are adapting so that I want just that … a *good* dessert, not mass-produced artificial crap.
Last weekend I made a huge pot of chicken tortilla soup in the Crock Pot. I froze half of it, and ate the other half for a few meals this week. To accompany the soup, I needed tortillas, so I bought a bag. I used just enough to add some crunch to the soup, closed up the bag and put it away. I notice it when I go into that cabinet, but I haven’t really had any interest in eating them. And speaking of dessert, a couple months ago I discovered Trader Joe’s dark chocolate wedges. 35 calories each of dark chocolate goodness. I wasn’t sure how I would handle knowing there was chocolate in the house, but I’m pleased to report I’ve been good with having one piece a day, no more, sometimes none.
Now there are probably people reading this saying “well, yeah, duh, this is how most people eat. They don’t consume everything tasty in their kitchen AT ONCE.” Well, for someone with a disordered relationship with food, this is pretty amazing progress, because without struggling, I’m eating food in reasonable quantities, and over a reasonable period of time. I think the stunning thing to me is the “without struggle” part. Maybe it’s because I haven’t put anything off limits that I don’t feel like I have to binge when I do have something available. Maybe I’m finally getting a hang of the whole everything in moderation concept. It’s just nice to feel like food is my friend, not my enemy, at least for now.
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